[uptown] free.radio.'s Journal

[uptown] free.radio.'s Journal

[uptown] free.radio.

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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[10 Nov 2003|10:28pm]

You will live in House.
You will drive a green pick up truck.
You will marry grame and have 6 kids.
You will be a waitress in ireland

10 comments|post comment

[10 Nov 2003|05:11pm]

Im back to this livejournal as I worked hard on my paid style tonight
Sorry to bother anyone.
Just check it out.

11 comments|post comment

word up. [22 Aug 2003|02:36pm]

so word on the street is.. that theres this new community that puts the 'zing' in amazing.

so uhh go join it. cause it owns.

abotomy_of_cool

2 comments|post comment

june 19th [19 Jun 2003|06:56am]

[ mood | anxious ]

[ music | you help them-say anything ]

today is allie's birthday.
she is older and older everry second.
she's too excited to sleep.

so she posts this:
No more, no less
In pools of water after all the rain has left I see your gaze
No more, no less
I’m longing for a Neverland where I can make you oh so happy
In my dreams we fly away from all the pain and school bell rings
To a city that never sleeps and I can see you smile all day
And I can show you just how beautiful complications can be
From the roof top I can lean in close and whisper in your ear:
“Can you see, its not the same, the stars are spelling out your name”
And the moon can only frown because it will never be as beautiful as you
I’m dreaming of Manhattan
Dreaming of where we are so in love
I can make you oh so happy

thank you

31 comments|post comment

[16 Jun 2003|12:28am]

You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a silver bike
You will marry Jesse and have 1 kids.
You will be a Journalist in London
MASH. tells all
( im so lost for you )

7 comments|post comment

WHAT THE FUCK? [28 May 2003|02:51pm]

[ mood | bitchy ]

[ music | dont hate me-get up kids ]

Ev tells me that grade 9 girls were/are reading this livejournal .

Excuse me?
GET THE FUCK OUT! STOP READING ABOUT MY LIFE. I DONT KNOW YOU. YOU DONT KNOW ME. AND YOU DONT KNOW HIM SO CLOSE THIS SCREEN AND STOP READING OKAY?

fuck. some people. to find out about what I do with him? Get over it

Jeez, I read about my friends. Because I care about their lives and how they're feeling not because i DONT KNOW THEM and just want to READ ABOUT THEIR BOYFRIENDS and what they've DONE with them.

DISGUSTING.

DISGUSTING.

and now. I stop posting here. because nosy evil fuckers have made me sick to my stomach

*cough*he's mine*cough* (((does a dance)))

♥ love always, allie

9 comments|post comment

adieu adieu parting is such sweet sorrow [06 May 2003|09:04pm]

[ mood | lethargic ]

[ music | tiny dancer-elton john ]

I dont give a FUCK about your day-to-day. and thats the bastard in me

Tragically as_we_fall. was taking a long walk in the shards of broken glass around her feet. As the luminous gas of old memories and irridesent foes filled her lungs she ~~choked~~

Ladies and Gentlemen the evening is over
We hope you all enjoyed yourselves
And we'll see you again in 1974

and .[scene.]

10 comments|post comment

i'm so hard to handle. i'm selfish and i'm sad [05 May 2003|07:36pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

[ music | konstantine-something corporate ]

Explain these long weeknights to me please. Because I'm just so damn tired of not being with you. Could I get anymore selfish. I want you to myself. I want to take every song with the word queen in it and play it over and over and just see you. What the hell is wrong with that? Is it too late. 3 months in to tell you that I never ever want to get out of this. And I can't get your words out of my head. That you may not love me as much as I love yo and how scared I felt. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't look you in the eyes. And I never want to feel that again. I could sit here and analyze my day. But it all comes down to how I feel about you in the end. I'm giving everything to this. And all I want is for you to be with me. Where was I before I knew you. Before I made you eat my scone. Before you walked out of French. Before Tony and Tina's wedding. Before rainbow cinemas. Before fear and loathing in las vegas. Before long walks. Before swinging. Before the Clash. Before my front lawn late at night. Before I didn't talk like a baby... before you.

Wake up please. I know you need rest but I just want to hear your voice. Two Nights ago.Saturday night. The best night of my life. Finally falling asleep with you. How weird it is to try and sleep (too in love with you to shut my eyes) while hearing someone elses breath. Seeing you sleep. Kissing your eyes. Feeling you beside me. Keeping me warm. Waking you up so you wouldn't be late for work. This is how it should be.

( Read more... )

I'm so sorrie. Just can't live without you. Can't feel my own way around. Only want you. Everything else ((everything that i did wrong and everything that i regret)) it's all gone.

But what will I do without you.....

( these words just leave me speechless )

post comment

the staring game. [05 May 2003|06:22pm]

[ mood | cold ]

[ music | just a memory-rufio ]

( a style survey and lyrics to the funniest song EVER )

20 comments|post comment

damn media [04 May 2003|09:43pm]

[ mood | confused ]

[ music | jesses voice. i'm being difficult ]

~~((( me )))~~

( why.am.i.not.this.beautiful )

7 comments|post comment

all across the angry sea [04 May 2003|12:55pm]

sorrie for wasting friends page space. but this is important for me to post for myself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
one year ago- i was getting over him
one year ago- i was alcestis. I was death
one year ago-I wanted to kill myself
one year ago- All I wanted to be was someone else
one year ago- I didn't know Jesse Mirsky
one year ago- I didn't have a "group" of friends
one year ago- I wasn't friends with Jess Bloom
one year ago- I didn't smoke as much
one year ago- I didn't know the beauty of clown
one year ago- i wasn't open to happiness
one year ago- i'd never been drunk
one year ago- i wasn't in love
one year ago- i wasn't thankful for life
one year ago- i'd never seen fear and loathing in las vegas
one year ago- i'd still smoke weed
one year ago- i hadn't been on my vigil or my 8 day
one year ago- i didn't know how to let go
one year ago- i'd never done shrooms
one year ago- i wasn't lactose intollerant
one year ago- i wasnt at ease with my heart and mind
one year ago- was the hardest year of my life</center>

5 comments|post comment

my guitar. is gently weeping. no. no it isnt [04 May 2003|11:37am]

[ mood | exhausted ]

[ music | back in the USSR-the beatles ]

Darling,
When did it occur to me that my stomach turns inside out and upside in when I wake up beside you, after a night of just us.

Party. craziest night ever possibly. Can't even possibly write out all the details. But the reality between what really happened and the plot of fight club is all mixed up.

And exactly when it turned 12:00. I spent the first minute of my 3 month anniversary standing in the hall hearing Tiny Dancer playing in Almost Famous. Kissing the person that makes my world spin and spin

So ignore being everyones mother, calming bad trips, holding hair back, too much booze, the chain smoking and the amount of people passed out on the floor. I had a wonerrrous night.

See you all.in 1974.(((sleep deprived and still wandering around the backyard with a beer in my hand)))

( honey pie.stolen from bloombloom )

8 comments|post comment

ob-la-di ob-la-da [02 May 2003|11:34pm]

[ mood | awake ]

[ music | seven nation army-the white stripes ]

i saw him and all i wanted to do was walk away and never see his face again
for the first time in my life
i walked away.
it was just hard seeing him. and remembering who i used to be. all the negativity
but i'm alright. i have so much to be happy about and look forward to.

Doing clown in drama today was so fun and worth it, to be with Georgette/Mindy/Caitlin/Lisa B/Corey and i cant remember who else from that class so sorrie. i thought would be weird but it was so fun trashing the room again. heh heh. i don't think i've ever had that much fun with carboard and papertowels.
No classes was fun. And I caught the call but I'll probably get in trouble on Monday. Kinda nervous about tomorrow night, but why? It's going to be amazing. I just have to keep myself under control. I can fully do that as long as I have luckies and lauri to talk to... I'll be fine.

Mmmm. Another park bench night with the most amazing thing to hit my worrrld. I feel bad though. Maybe you should've gone to the show. But ... we had fun. Fell asleep again and woke up just in the nick of time. I'm excited to be able to spend a whole night with him tomorrow. Whole time. Please let me be able to sleep over. please.

fuck you uterus lining. just fuck you

( this is the worst horoscope i've ever gotten )

1 comment|post comment

Make the dead feel deader [01 May 2003|09:13pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]

[ music | her middle name was boom-glassjaw ]

Now let me go
so I can brag about the gifts that he stole.
(Thank you) For all the lonely nights.
I will carry this with me where I go.

Bad taste in my mouth.
You would think I'm a whore.
Bad taste in my mouth.
You would think I'm you.

You only get on taste
and for this gift we are graced.
You only get one taste
and for this gift
she's likely to go,
or so she'll say.
We sleep as we do to keep our nights days away.
Love,
or so she'll say.
Immature love.
You breed immature lust.

So died the virgin.
I have told you before,
You we're nothing special to him
(and that's just another thing that's nothing new for you).

You'll be born.
You before.

Embody me
with you body.
I've never seen it.
I have never.
Embody me
with your body.
I've never seen it.
Are you happy?

~~i hate you now.we are NOT friends. you're too good for me. fuck you i hate you~~

i'm just so fucking angry. i fucking hate it all.

11 comments|post comment

i could be sad. but i choose glad [30 Apr 2003|09:20pm]

[ mood | glad is not a mood :( ]

[ music | blue and yellow-the used ]

love-A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. Sexual passion. Sexual intercourse. A love affair. An intense emotional attachment.

Entry: love
Function: verb
Definition: adore
Synonyms: admire, adulate, canonize, care for, cherish, choose, deify, delight in, dote on, esteem, exalt, fall for, fancy, flip over, glorify, go for, gone on, hold dear, hold high, idolize, like, long for, prefer, prize, thrive with, treasure, venerate, wild for, worship
Concept: loving
-----------------

Things are going right. Wonderrous news. Ta Da! I have nothing to complain about. Well one thing. But its not right to talk about here. <3ing school, mostly the summer atmosphere . People are a lot more open. And hopefully smokers will want to share. I've been sharing only to a selected few, but mine are presents and from France so sharing is kinda not fun.... poo. It's karma though.

All and all, I'm SO excited for Saturday. I don't even think I can fathom a funner way to celebrate Harrison's, Drew's birthdays and *yay* 3 month anniversary from now until sunday so get to celebrate that! and then... monday! ATARIS . holy shit *orgasams*

ps: Alex I got your email but I'm way to drained to type anything more than this entry.But I loved the cheese! You know how much I love the cheese. Your amazing. And I love you so much. Lets not distance again, cause these times of insane closeness is how we should stay. yar matey! sorry... oh well. <3 you deary. keep it clean.. or dirty? heh heh....
pps: Jess i want to canoodle,dandle,press,shine and neck you! *meow* stand back tristanmctristanson. that grade 9 rumor about us sleeping toether!. whoa. if only it wasnt a rumor. sex cat you shall be.

5 comments|post comment

I'm not Stephanie [29 Apr 2003|10:05pm]

[ mood | proud!!!!!!!!!!1 ]

[ music | jesse's voice ]

so lucky. so lucky. and he's MINE all MINE! muhahaha! uhh sorry..

TODAY
-woke up SO late. had to get everything ready with 1 arm. quite the challange
-drama. again with the NOTHING TO DO. ack. i can't take anymore of this
-civics. my dear lord i love that class. best class ever.
-3rd- i think i went to english?
-4th-sat on the floor and did absolutly nothing
-therapy.in etobikoe
-school (madness. never had that many people call my name at once)
-southlake with dani. i coughed on the hospital. i hope it gets sars
-show-holy shit. i <3 mirsky. so good. so good. so talented. so amazing. you know you want him.... go see the show... then you'll want him. oh yes. please dont die mir... i love you... i dont like it when they slit your throat ... and i really didn't like it when she touched your face... thats my face.. no touching.

then i had no ride home. but J-Ri gave me one... and i was happy.
uterus lining. cant take it

love you.thats all

post comment

atrás otra vez. [28 Apr 2003|09:05pm]

[ mood | angry ]

[ music | dani's voice. ]

Here are some funny sentances in other languages. I translated them myself yes I did. now keep quiet. Also please don't take offense if your german. Just that your language is so *angry* it makes me wet myself.....

Hay un mono en mis pantalones!-there is a monkey in my pants!

Por qué es mi choda tan itchy? -why is my choda so itchy?

Me gusta comer a bebés- I like to eat babies

Soy un hombre de 60 años, que a gusta tocar a muchachas jóvenes sobre las nalgas-I am a 60 year old man, who likes to touch young girls on the buttocks
-----------------------------------------------

on a sad note:Dont entiendo. He sido donde usted es y quiero que usted hacia fuera el Sentido de Amor Se despierte Por favor Dios Por favor Solamente(Justo) lo hace tenerle sentido Lo hacen verlo como hacemos

i'm angry.i'm scared.i'm worried.mostly i'm just so god damn pissed off at the pure blindness of parents. wake up you idiots!

6 comments|post comment

bah.obsessiveness must stop [28 Apr 2003|04:35pm]

[ mood | crazy ]

[ music | southpark music. heh heh. oh dear lord ]

I need my own house. so i can live and decorate as I please. or just a small room to decorate. mine's boring and covered already. anyone want to lend me their room to decorate.. how about your house? I'll do a good job.. promise?

( i am becoming obsessed with home decor. stop me now )

13 comments|post comment

mmm [27 Apr 2003|04:37pm]

( i have succumbed to peer pressure and done a survey.but a DIFFERENT one )

post comment

ifyoueverlovedmedontreadthisplease [26 Apr 2003|10:36pm]

[ mood | me ]

[ music | nothing ]

So close to dying that I finally can start living.

oh god. so worthless. -slap-

dont try to talk it out of me this time.

you're not the only one allowed to be sad

so much hurt.
so much pain
so much tingling
so much sensation

kicked in the stomach. make it end make it end make it end make it end

icanttakemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicanttakemysel
todayicanttakemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicant
takemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicanttakemyselftodayicant
takemyselftodayicanttakemyselftoday

who really cares anymore? the phone stopped ringing in january.
theres no one beyond him.why is there no one anymore. why am i stuck back in this.
one pill down the drain

the one i looked up to(since him) gone to him. lost .gone.cant talk.just not around.
i forgot to explain the jealousy and now youre nowhere.

i will be pure

help. call. thanks. like snow.like gold.

veins filling with poision. i'm done.
thanks for the times that my stomach wasnt caving in. but i can't take what i've become

i've never felt so alone.
i've lost.lost.lost.hurt.pain.thrive.drink.swallow.binge.pills.inhale.over.gone.script.

( thanksforactuallyreadingthisbutyouwontcommentcauseyoudontknowwhattosay toapilljunkieandsomeonesolostinherownspacethatshemaynotevenreplyandwhat wouldbethepointincaringifyoudontgetamessagebackinreturn.fillthatmailboxuphunny )

8 comments|post comment

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